Against Hate and Prop 8 Series – Volume III

Recently we asked for reader feedback on why they are against Prop 8 and for gay equality. For more information on this open call for participation and using YOUR voice: Why Are You Against Prop 8? Share Your Stories. Keep your submissions coming, here is Volume III!

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“I just don’t want to believe that there are people so threatened by me that they would vote to take away civil rights.

The truth is however, and I’m saying this to any right wingers that happened to read this, your vote against Prop 8 will not make ONE difference in my relationship with Brad, my partner. I will love him the same no matter the title you allow us to have and no matter the legal benefits you take away.  Our relationship is not based on your consent, nor your approval.

We will continue to live together in our home and we will continue to be your neighbor.  We will continue to be responsible adults and will continue to pay more than our share of income taxes, which will go to improve your children’s schools and the roads that you drive on to go to work.

Brad will continue to go to St. Charles Church despite the shameful position the Catholic hierarchy took on this issue.  He will continue to help people who are dying, regardless of whether they voted for this proposition or not.  I will continue to help people who are suicidal because they live in severe chronic pain no matter what slur they’ve ever said about gay people, and some of them will never know that their psychologist is queer.

Even though you voted to take away our legal right to marriage, we will watch you enjoy the benefits of your marriage and will likely say nothing to your face to make you feel embarrassed or self-conscious because of the inequity.  We will watch you abuse the institution by cheating and separating and divorcing but we will not wish for you the same kind of second-class status that you wish for us.

We will still be Americans because we were born here and we will act like full citizens, even if we do not have the full rights of a heterosexual immigrant who chooses to become naturalized.

I wonder if McCain would have offered me an extra tax break to compensate for my lack of full civil rights in this country?” - Kimeron, San Carlos, CA

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“I am against Proposition 8 and any law that denies gays the same rights as straight people. I am a bisexual woman and I believe that the laws that prevent gay people from marrying or adopting children are based on ignorance, assumption, and fear: ignorance about the lives of same-sex couples, assumptions that traditional marriages are inherently superior, and fear of a future that has not even been written.” – Maggie, via comments

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“Prop 8 is a horror, but one that was won on the playing field of politics and to those who ran the campaign for it, they got organized, mean, and they were willing to go all in with their time, their money, and their commitment to what they were doing. Are we? For over 20 years, I have been active and engaged in LGBT and Human rights activism. What is distressing is that too often we operate in a crisis mode. Only when something tragic happens do we leave our comfort zones and act (e.g. Sheppard, Lawrence v. Texas, AIDS, etc). The rest of the time, a handful of dedicated and very active folks work tirelessly with legislators, local governments and our own communities talking about our issues and trying desperately to get it through that LGBT rights are human rights and that we are not asking for anything more than what is already guaranteed in our great constitution while the majority either debate the particulars at a distance or enjoy the relative comfort of the virtual equality that is available to them.

Then a Prop 8 happens and others have happened and folks want to take to the streets. At the same time that the protest is happening, Equality North Carolina, our voice in our legislature, our voice that has been our advocate building relationships and making a difference for us, is having its conference that includes speakers who worked on prop 8, legislators, LGBT elected officials, and others who can talk and direct and inform our citizens on how to be effective to combat and to be involved in acquiring our civil and equal rights. Alas, they struggle to fill up the conference. They still do not have everyone as members. Even some are angry because they will not postpone the conference in deference to the demonstrations.

But folks, the ones that have been doing the work all along, have staved off an amendment in our great state, the ones that have been trying to get us organized and active, are holding a conference with other informed leaders and allies to help all of us and we have a choice. Do we spend an hour or two in a public square for 20 seconds of publicity and venting or do we actively get down to business as the monstrous groups like the so called Focus on the Family, Concerned Women for America, and those evangelical churches have, and really come together to tell our stories and be about having our full citizenship in this country.

Some may say we can do both. I hold not fault for those. But I do hold fault for those who rally, but do not get VERY active locally and statewide with the groups and organizations that can make a real and sustained difference. The other side has a well oiled distortion machine set up, we have the truth. The only way to challenge the lies, deceit, and distortion of those who mount this campaign of hate is to come tighter and access the very folks who are working everyday to make it happen for us!” - Bo Dean, Wilmington, NC
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“The answer to the question of “Why are you against prop 8?” is easy:
SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE.

One of the founding tenants of our country is the separation of church and state as made very clear in the statement that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” Marriage is a civil union with hundreds of legal rights and responsibilities established once a marriage certificate is filed with a GOVERNMENT entity. There is no “sanctity” involved. It is and ALWAYS has been a business arrangement.

The institution of marriage was primarily invented to protect property. It has been used throughout the millennia as a business tool with marriages arranged to align countries, enrich nobility, and preserve trade
relationships. In some countries if you want to get married in a religious ceremony you still must have a civil marriage ceremony to obtain the legal rights that come with a marriage certificate.

As with all laws, the laws regarding marriage should apply equally to all residents of the United States of America. The Fourteenth Amendment to our Constitution states: “No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States” (which is defined in the same amendment as anyone “subject to the jurisdiction” to the U.S.

Nowhere does it say that one can be denied privileges or immunities because of one’s sexual orientation.

We need to separate church and state in regard to marriage. EVERYONE should be entitled to a civil marriage certificate and a civil marriage ceremony.  Individual churches can decide who they wish to allow to have a religious ceremony, but the religious ceremony should have NO LEGAL standing. Someone who wants the legal standing of marriage should be required to have a civil ceremony.” - F.I. Goldhaber, Oregon, http://www.goldhaber.net/poetry.htm

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“For me, it comes down to a matter of civil rights. People are people, and if we are to believe the words in our Constitution, we are all equal and enjoy equal rights, regardless of color, religion, and sexual orientation. I cannot grasp the issue here. How can anybody feel that they are entitled to this right, and others aren’t? To preserve the sanctity of marriage? Please! Then perhaps they should start examining the reason that so many marriages end in divorce. How precious and sacred. To me, the religious arguments being made by some faiths fall apart when examined closely. They preach out of both sides of their mouth – one being acceptance and love and the other being condescension and hate. They quote passages from the same religious texts that also promote violent extremes and the inferiority of women. It makes no sense to me.

I truly believe that this will one day be looked upon as ludicrous and archaic, the way that many (but sadly still not all) people see the fact that women and African-Americans had to fight for civil rights. And I, for one, cannot wait for that day.

Best of luck, you have my unwavering support.” - Katrina, Chicago, IL

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• NYC Protest Rally Against Prop 8 – May 26, 2009: Make Me An Honest Man
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Related reading:

• 9.01.09 – Must Reads: CA AIDS Clearinghouse Closes, Consequences of Gay Marriage (0)
• The Regulars by Karl Hampe: Prop 8 Upheld Infomercial? (0)
• NYC Protest Rally Against Prop 8 – May 26, 2009: Live and let Live (0)
• NYC Protest Rally Against Prop 8 – May 26, 2009: Make Me An Honest Man (0)
• NYC Protest Rally Against Prop 8 – May 26, 2009: Green Cards for Gay Spouses (0)