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Against Hate and Prop 8 Series – Volume I

Recently we asked for reader feedback on why they are against Prop 8 and for gay equality.  For more information on this open call for participation and using YOUR voice: Why Are You Against Prop 8? Share Your Stories. Keep your submissions coming!

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“I am against Prop 8 because prohibiting me from marrying my partner is discriminatory.  When my brother died at 48 his wife and daughter received social security benefits.  If my partner died, my son and I would get nothing.  The state recognizes marriage as a commitment and responsibility to support one and other in good and bad times.  Our secular state rewards that commitment with tax breaks and benefits. I should be able to choose that lifestyle if I want.” - Andrew Rakos, West Hollywood
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As the founder of www.FamilyLawCourts.com; I’m for no discrimination, but against Prop 8 in order to save gays from what the rest of us go through.  Because after marriage comes divorce; and during a divorce, our Constitutional rights are checked at the door; and perjury is never prosecuted.  The result of that being the one who lies first, is generally the one who lies best; and reaps the reward.
Alas, media doesn’t *cover* that.
You read that correctly.  Although “family court” is the largest, busiest court in the nation; media has no clue or, interest regarding the working reality of this unregulated, out-of-control; court.
Which is:  judges act more like sales reps for all legal – social services.  So when people write “The system is broken,” my response is always:
“No, the system is working just fine.  It exists to support those employed by the system.”
Once a party files for divorce, if they have children; then they have just invited the State to micro-manage their financial and emotional lives until the children turn eighteen.  The State can not resist such an offer.  Also, there’s no such thing as “no fault” divorce, (although court pr people say different) because family court judges are generally ex-prosecutors; and always looking to place blame.
Then there’s the murder rate.  Of parents, (including sometimes, the police) killing each other, and their kids.
bad cops:
and dead kids, because their parents snapped, listed alphabetically by state.
Last, in 2005, the Supreme Court decided (Castle Rock vs. Gonzales) that the police “aren’t legally required” to enforce restraining orders.  So why do the police keep marketing them?
That’s easy.  Because doing so allows them to apply for state and federal grants to buy bullet-proof vests, rather than use funds from their own, general fund.  That way the police are safer when deciding to respond to calls, calls from terrified family members…which they may or may not respond to.
So to protect gay couples from the con of the divorce industry, and what the rest of us must endure, I’m against it until our leaders show some inclination to clean up family court….or dissolving it.”  -Bonnie Russell, California
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“There are a number of reasons why I am against Prop 8 as a Californian.  Here are just a few:

1.  When I was in a No on 8 rally the Thursday after it passed, I met a gay man who had managed to get married a mere hour before it was no longer allowed.  He said he woke up Wednesday morning and felt like he’d had a right taken away from him.  He felt it.  As a straight woman, I woke up Wednesday morning and didn’t feel different.  I don’t think that’s fair.  How can I live in a free society if other people are not free?

2.  I’m one of the few it seems.  I don’t believe in sex before marriage.  I think saving sex for marriage makes it more meaningful.  If you’re not allowed to get married, you’re essentially robbed of this opportunity to save yourself and you’re robbed of the opportunity to have a more spiritual component to your sex life.  If conservative people find the gay lifestyle to be promiscuous, well, they only have themselves to blame because they prevent gay people from finding a more stable and spiritual alternative if they so choose.

3.  I understand many churches don’t accept gay marriage, but many do, so these churches are prevented from helping their gay members come closer to God through marriage.  That means the law is preventing religious expression, which is against the US constitution.

4.  One opponent of gay marriage suggested that if gay men really wanted to get married and have kids, they should just find some poor woman who was willing to be in that arrangement.  As a straight woman, it is cruel to suggest women should give up happiness and a fulfilling marriage just because gay men can’t marry gay men.  Being a woman can be a challenge enough, but to be married to a man who doesn’t even find you sexually attractive could really hurt your self-esteem.  I imagine it’s the same the other way as well.

5.  I believe strongly in the institution of marriage.  I believe if the people who claim to want to protect traditional marriage really did want to do so, they would have declared war on the real danger to marriage today: divorce.  I’m sure everyone’s heard the 50 percent divorce rate.  I have even taken a course on marriage counseling (funded in part by the US government, I believe), but never found anyone who wanted the free marriage relationship course I offered once I completed it.  I have never heard of any proposition to encourage repairing marriages or California-sponsored courses on how to have a stable marriage, or any state-wide legislation about “teaching marriage in schools” which might actually improve marriages statewide.  The fact that the people who want to “save traditional marriage” don’t actually do much to save marriage says to me they don’t really care about marriage; they only care about putting prejudice in the constitution.

6.  People who voted for Prop 8 for religious reasons basically merged church and state, which is against the US constitution.  What goes on in your church is not my business, but when you force it on everyone else, that’s not fair or legal.

7.  The civil rights movement of the 60s aimed to get equality for blacks; a side effect was that when the Civil Rights Act passed, it also included equality for women in the workplace.  I am hopeful that if Prop 8 is overturned, there will be added civil rights benefits for everyone that we can’t predict now.  I am fearful of more rights being lost if it remains law, because it is an ugly precedent.

8.  We have slavery in the US constitution, which is still a blight on a great document to this day.  We should learn from this past history and not put discrimination into the California constitution.” - Anne, CA

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“Proposition 8…or should I say Hate. I cannot believe our state has come to this. Tears swell up in my eyes knowing that this is even an issue. Haven’t we grown, haven’t we progressed from hating one
another? This is one of the most important decisions a state can make, and we need to show our love and tolerance. We say that we have come so far, we even elected an African-American president…but I believe
we have regressed greatly by passing this law. Two people getting married does not affect anyone but the two in love, and using the school system to scare people is pathetic. I am an educator myself and
this threat that our children will learn about gay marriage is a farce. First of all, children never learn about marriage in schools, it is not written into the curriculum, but even if they did, there are far worse things they learn about on the playground, believe me, I have heard it. I recently was married, and it was the best day of my entire life. I feel unfair that I am able to have this because the person I fell in love with happened to be the opposite sex.  I don’t believe anyone should have the right to withhold that from two people who are in love. Marriage is the joining between two people who are in love, and no one should impose upon that. “Protecting” marriage is a joke, it is greedy and an ugly thing for people to do. They are not protecting anything, they are discriminating and if you really want to protect marriage, outlaw divorce!

PROTECTING love and acceptance,

Christin Bernadette Dickson
Long Beach, CA
”

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“My Name is Ann Keeler Evans, M.Div., aka known on the Web as the Wedding Priestess. over the last 20 years, I have presided over the weddings of at least 1,000 couples with well over 10 percent of them gay or lesbian. I’m the author of two books (Promises to Keep: Crafting Your Wedding Ceremony
and Remembering a Life: On the Death of Your Beloved) and create tools to help couples create the ceremony of their dreams so that they can have the marriage of a lifetime. I bring to my work passion, education and a lifetime of experience.


Equality is important because Equality is important.
The gift of love freely offered is the most powerful gift on the planet.
Marriages do better in communities where there are more stable marriages. Denying one group marriage makes the pool smaller.
Children do better when raised in a committed relationship.
Civil marriage is designed (whatever anyone says) to protect the family unit. Spiritual marriage is designed to create a life-long marriage. It’s time to separate these two. Clergy are not educated or commissioned to do any other legal work. We don’t sign divorce decrees, for instance, as they do in theocracies such as Israel. Then if religious institutions choose to not to perform marriages, for whatever outmoded principles, couples will have legal protection and can find a spiritual ceremony in a religious community that welcomes them.”  -Ann Keeler Evans, M.Div.

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Out Impact is your gay online magazine for gay men and women in the LGBTQ community and our allies, encouraging readers to create a positive impact in the gay community. Our content focuses on activism/philanthropy; expert advice for your professional life; pet care by leading experts; a yoga/wellness column in health, spirituality and wellness; as well as columns in food, comics, fashion, an expert travel specialist; engaging features in the arts and more. We have movie, music and book reviews, as well as the latest interviews. Out Impact also produces events benefiting various non-profits around the country, as well as comprehensive media campaigns to raise awareness for various philanthropic causes while bridging the non-profit, activism, artistic and gay communities. OutImpact.com – Making a positive impact in the gay community. Make yours.

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Tags: Against Hate and Prop 8 Series - Volume I, Ann Keeler, Anne, Bonnie Russell, California, Christin Bernadette Dickson Long, constitutional rights, discrimination, family court judges, gay equality, letters from readers, reader feedback, social security benefits, West Hollywood

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